The musings of an unemployed graduate

Lying in bed last night, I couldn’t help but toss and turn. My masters degree in Art History and Curating had come to an end. And now I found myself working part-time at a pub, the same job I did a year prior to raise funds for solo travelling. I felt as though my life was a series of rejected cover letters and disappointing phone calls from employers. I had thought of this masters degree as an investment in myself but now doubt crept in. What direction was my life going in? What was my future? What will people think of me if I don’t achieve what I set out to do? Do I even want that job I interviewed for? What did I even WANT to do with my life?

While all these questions floated around my mind, I suddenly had a realisation. I had only finished my dissertation a month ago. I hadn’t even got my results back and I was far from my graduation date. But the feeling that I was a failure persisted. I had failed to get to the next logical stage in this phase of adulthood... the first step of the career ladder. I felt like I was the odd one out in a sea of graduates that were riding their way into a job.

As well as this I felt as though my status had dropped, from student (an academic position where a person strives to learn in a prestigious environment) to the unemployed graduate (having all the qualifications and none of the life experience). Having to answer the dreaded question posed by everyone you came across, “so what now?” Was I doomed to endure those sympathetic glances at family functions when you explain that you are currently exploring the job market. Of course, this could all be in my head, but I’m betting that quite a few of us out there have felt this fear of justifying our economic worth to family and friends. Reassuring people that we are doing just as well as our siblings and cousins. It’s like being the single friend at a wedding… “don’t worry, love, you’ll find someone eventually”.

But why do we have this existential crisis post-university?

I’ve spoken to a lot of just graduated friends, both unemployed and employed, who are struggling with the same problem. Perhaps we’ve been in education so long, essentially our whole waking lives, that when we are finally churned out for good it feels strange and unknown. We need experience to get a job? Well, what was the past 23 years of my life and how am I meant to get experience if no one gives me a chance? We’ve spent so much time educating ourselves and training for the world of adulthood that we need a shiny new job to impress people and show that it was all for something.

This capitalist ideal of success can be damaging to our self-worth. Those in my generation have been told ever since we were young that we could be and do anything we wanted. And it’s true, there are a lot more opportunities and jobs out there that didn’t use to be available. But what this has bred into us is that if we don’t succeed in our dreams, we are the reason as society gave us plenty of opportunity.

The silver lining

But once my shame spiral had ended, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t really have much to complain about. My parents were helping me out with rent for the next few months. Part-time work was covering my bills and expenses while I did some job hunting. I was living in a nice flat in the centre of Birmingham, the second biggest city, with my close mate from University. And I had great friends and family who would support me no matter what. It was a privileged position to be in and I had a lot of great things in my life that I should be grateful for. Yet maybe the message I’m trying to convey remains the same. We should be careful not to base our self-worth on a capitalist ideal of success that could ultimately disappoint us in the end anyway. Don’t get me wrong, a fulfilling career can be very meaningful. But I need to remind myself there are many facets of life that can be meaningful to me… a warm brew in front of a fireplace, a call from a friend, that chilli cheese burrito I’ve been eyeing up. One of the ways to avoid this uncertainty around unemployment post-graduating, is to not neglect the other avenues of life that bring me joy.

So, what now?

Don't give up! We shouldn't underestimate the power of persistence and mental fortitude. I know that there is not going to be one job out there that will end up my be-all and end-all. The same way I don’t believe in soulmates, there are multiple jobs out there that you can find some enjoyment and growth in. Perhaps we can focus on applying for jobs that we, in some way, have passion for. Whether you have great people skills and this manifests in a job in an interesting new way or you try your hand at a new hobby and realise you have a knack for it. One avenue of my focus right now, is to return to what I love... history, art, and culture. And the reason I studied it in the first place was not to build a great career but because it excited me, and I wanted to learn and expand my mind as much as possible. Luckily, everything in the known universe has a history and I have no doubt this passion, my other passions or one I will stumble across in the future, will bleed into the work I end up doing. For now, I have started this blog to explore my fascination with the arts and I hope it gives people out there some enjoyment too.

What are some things you are passionate about?